Resident Evil Village — Forget the Tall Lady, The Duke Has My Heart

All you horndogs can keep your Tall Lady. The Duke is the Resident Evil Village character I’m spending the rest of my days with.

Currently, the internet is ablaze with people who are in love with the Tall Lady from Resident Evil Village. And yes, I can completely understand why so many of you are smitten with Lady Dimitrescu; She has an exotic name, she’s incredibly tall, and she’s more than willing to rip out your jugular and drink your blood. If those aren’t the qualities you’re looking for in a hot vampire, then I don’t know what you’re looking for. That said, I think another character is getting short shrift. The Duke. He has immediately become the RE character that I can’t stop thinking about. Before I tell you why, check out the latest trailer from the presentation so you can see my beautiful boy n action.

He Only Wants to Help You

Say what you will about how attractive Lady Dimitrescu is, but there’s no doubt about it, she wants you dead. Or, at least, she wants you undead. Now, personally, I quite like being alive. It’s fun, ya know? If there’s one thing I can guarantee about The Duke, it’s that he wants you alive. And not just for the sake of being alive, but he actively needs you.

It doesn’t look like there are that many adventurers out and about in the Resident Evil Village world. And the man has to have someone to buy his wares. So, The Duke is making a wise business decision to keep you alive. If that leads to some romance, I’m down.

He Has More Surface Area for Big, Cuddly Hugs

Speaking of romance, I don’t know about you, but I could use more hugs in my life. Or more actual human interaction in general. Tall Lady seems the kind of lover who has no interest in cuddling. The Duke? Well, let’s just say that he has to use all that mass for something. Why not just envelope me when I’m feeling down?

Speaking of The Duke’s size, it’s worth remembering that this is a terrifying horror game. Have you played that demo? I wet my pants at least twice. As a relatively big guy, it’s hard for me to find things to hide behind, but The Duke is a fun solution to that problem. The second I start squealing in terror, he can just hide me under his massive belly and protect me from the bad lady.

Resident Evil The Duke, Capcom

He Kinda Cute Too

Just look at my boy! Sure, he’s not as traditionally attractive as the hot vampire lady, but you can’t deny he has a very kingly face. He reminds me a lot of a Roman empire with some added girth. Those cheekbones are fabulous.

And fine, maybe I’m just attracted to the money, but, in this economy, can you blame me? If I have to spend the rest of my days riding in the back of a cart with a large man and cloves of garlic, then so be it. At least I won’t be murdered by a lady who has daughters that morph into insects.

Resident Evil Village launches on May 7 for PC, PS4, PS5, Xbox One, and Xbox Series X. The game has been speculated to have open-world elements after Steam tags pointed to such, There’s also Collectors and Deluxe editions that have been revealed, and the box art may contain spoilers. And according to news last year, The Duke may not be the only one to capture my heart as the game will apparently feature a lot of side characters.

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